one

Upon hearing this news, I felt both happy for Sister Suran and ashamed of my own selfishness

Many of us believe that we have forgotten the past, yet the past has not forgotten us

Sometimes I feel as though I exist in a world where all the past is displayed, with squares that have not been flattened and people leaving one after another. When I think this way, it seems as if the entire universe has been turned upside down

I was momentarily at a loss for words, and she added: "Young ladies sell their bodies, actors sell their skills, and writers sell their words; the rest are merely selling their labor. Most people in this world operate in this manner, exchanging what they possess for what they lack, which is quite fair."

But Xu Zhijun, why do you no longer smile?

Xu Zhijun rarely smiles, as he always feels that laughing like a sunflower all day long is quite childish. Therefore, he always presents himself with a calm and elegant demeanor, but I know that his calmness and elegance are merely a facade.

More importantly, I pretended that I had completely forgotten the arrogant figure he deliberately left me with when I moved out of his apartment, which was so lonely

A multitude of negative emotions has accumulated in my heart, bringing me to the brink of collapse. I constantly feel that if even the slightest unfortunate event occurs, it will completely shatter me. It is at this moment that Qianqian was born

After a long time, I finally said softly: "Your realm has become increasingly elevated."

I sadly think that Lin Yizhou is no longer here, yet these people still go to the bar at night

However, when it came time to buy flowers, I gradually felt something was amiss. Li Shanshan held the pink roses and compared them with Diana under the sunlight for quite a while but could not decide which looked better. Yet when I said, "Aren't you going to take off your sunglasses to see?" she turned back and smiled at me, saying, "I can't be bothered to take them off."

The next morning, around 9 o'clock, Kang Jie shook me awake as if she were possessed by an alarm clock, saying: "Get up! You silly fool! Wake up!"

Kang Jie took off her shoes and jumped onto my bed: "Are you feeling ashamed? It's alright, it can still be made up for. Tomorrow we will go to the hospital to see her together. Shan Shan said that if you dare not go, she will come to invite you with a kitchen knife!"

With a soft "pa," the bag in Li Shanshan's hand lightly struck Song Yuan's forehead: "I may not have given birth, but I have hit you before, remember?"

Kang Jie patiently scooped the ice cream with brownies, casually saying: "I thought you would never come back to eat this again."

Due to not having gone out for a long time, my eyes seem to struggle to adapt to the intense sunlight during the day, so I rummaged through my belongings to find a pair of sunglasses to wear. While walking on the street, Kang Jie even scolded me, saying: "You are not a celebrity, why are you wearing such large sunglasses just to go out? Do you think there are paparazzi waiting at your door to take pictures of you?"

The first time I met Su Jin was at DQ

I know that I may appear somewhat lewd, yet I cannot help but act this way. Every time I see his upturned face, I have to cover my mouth to prevent myself from suddenly exclaiming "Wow" and frightening my mother, who is already on edge due to my antics.

I stand on the bustling street, looking around in confusion, as vivid scenes from my memories come pouring in like snowflakes, yet they can only exist forever in my recollections

Lin Yizhou is no longer here, but I am still alive

For a long time, I pretended that I had forgotten this person

It was at that moment, when one could hardly bear to look back, that Su Jin appeared unexpectedly. She said on the phone: "Cheng Luoxun, I must see you; otherwise, I will leave with regrets."

To be honest, I was also moved by the tacit understanding between Li Shanshan, Song Yuan, and myself. After such a long time apart, the three of us still maintain our synchronized demeanor, which is truly not easy.

We did not say much, nor did we deliberately bring him up. It was only just before we were about to leave that she suddenly said softly, "If only you weren't here, without you, at least he would still be alive. Whether he is happy or not is another matter; at the very least, he is still alive"

It was an unpleasant meeting, perhaps the only one we would have in our lives. She scrutinized me from head to toe, while I repeatedly assessed her with a cold and indifferent gaze

Every day when she leaves my house, I always hide behind the curtains, cautiously peeking out to look downstairs. I see her stop to greet him, exchange a few words, and then he will look up towards my window.

The entire city is shrouded in thick dust

I am too lazy to argue with her: "If you say one more word, I won't go."

The elderly people who rushed to buy vegetables early in the morning all suddenly turned their attention to us. I silently turned around, thinking that Li Shanshan was indeed clever, knowing that if she was going to act out, she might as well not take off her sunglasses.

When we were buying fruit, we idiots only picked what we liked, and in the end, Song Yuan was about to go crazy: "Is it my sister giving birth or you three giving birth!"

After she changed into her slippers, the first thing she did was not to remove her makeup, but to sit down by my bedside and seriously say to me: "Luoxun, today when I left your house, I saw Xu Zhijun."

This message was conveyed to me by Kang Jie through Li Shanshan. It was already past 3 AM when she got off her night shift that day. As soon as she entered my house, she closed the door to my room without even having time to remove her makeup, her eyes sparkling like a night owl: "Luoxun! Did you know that Sister Suran has given birth!"

Her low growl completely jolted me awake from my state of confusion. Ever since I met Su Jin that time, apart from accompanying my mother to the supermarket to carry rice and oil back home, I have hardly stepped outside. I spend my days in a daze in my room, neither going online nor reading, with my phone turned off. I either stare blankly or sleep, and when I open my eyes, it is either still dark or nearly dark outside.

I started to laugh, and before I could say anything, she denied her previous statement again: "No, that's not right, if someone farts, they would still say it stinks..."

I would rather it be him who endures the pain of life and death separation

Kang Jie gently sighed as she held my tanned arm: "Luo Xun, you have been gone for too long"

She was equally unambiguous: "Do as you please, Li Shanshan is not threatening me with a kitchen knife."

She waved her hand and pointed to show me: "Here... we are recruiting girls aged 18 to 20, with good looks, who can speak Mandarin..."

Kang Jie was stunned, holding her phone for a long time. She could not understand why Su Ran, who had always been friendly, would not lend her a hand at such an important moment. Why, when her life was in such a bleak and obscure low period, did she choose to be a bystander?

That was the lowest point in my life so far, curled up in my room day after day, numbly and blankly counting the calendar on the table, one day passed, another day passed, a lifetime, slowly just passed like this

When we stood at the entrance of the hospital, I almost instinctively took a step back, a very slight movement that even Kang Jie did not notice

Dali's masterpiece "The Persistence of Memory" depicts an extraordinarily soft watch, seemingly on the verge of melting under the scorching sun, bizarrely blending humanity and time into a super soft dreamlike world

She turned around and smiled at me, a smile that contained many things: there was helplessness and bitterness, self-mockery and indifference. "Go ask those who work as prostitutes, how many of them are doing it willingly"

It seems that fate truly possesses a pair of merciless hands that have altered a part of my life. Like the protagonist in the story of "Carving a Boat to Seek a Sword," I attempt to retrieve my lost sword at the place where I made my mark, yet the boat I was on has long since departed from that water city

At that time, she called Russell Ran, seeking assistance, but unexpectedly, Russell Ran hesitated for a long while and said to her: "Don't worry about her, let her stand up on her own."

We all know who each other is, and we harbor no goodwill towards one another. There is no way around it; even though we were originally just two strangers who would not glance at each other while passing on the street, the existence of that person named "Lin Yizhou" between us means that we can never allow our mutual hostility to melt away like winter snow.

Just as I felt as if my chest had suddenly exploded, Kang Jie nudged me and said, "Luo Xun, we have arrived"

Because when it comes to Lin Yizhou, at least I can still cry, but if we talk about him, I really do not know what tone to use

As Kang Jie and I walked behind them, looking at her silhouette, I finally understood what was different from before

Lin Yizhou is no longer here, but Su Jin will still go abroad tomorrow

But why, when this name was spoken from Kang Jie’s lips, did it strike me like a hammer, precisely locating the spot deep within my chest where my heart resides, and then hit down hard

I even shamelessly lied that I was his fiancée, shaking off one pair of hands after another that tried to pull me back. My perception of pain had become completely numb, and all my consciousness coalesced into a single thought: why was it not me who died

At that time, Li Shanshan always appeared very proud, with her eyes seemingly placed on the top of her head. She was well aware of her own beauty, and given her youth, it was only natural for her to flaunt her looks in public.

But since that day, I have had a secret that even Kang Jie does not know about

She walked up to me and embraced me tightly

Song Yuan took off his sunglasses and said to the astonished Kang Jie: "I wore them precisely because I didn't want to be mistaken for her bodyguard, do you understand?"

I understand the meaning of her words; although I am reluctant to bring up the past, I still respond with a self-deprecating smile

Her tone of questioning gradually dissipated into the air with my silence, and after waiting for a long time without seeing any response from me, she finally gave up and changed the subject: "Cheng Luoxun, I really doubt whether you are deaf; talking to you now feels like I just farted in front of you."

Standing aside, Li Shanshan ignored the pair of lunatics and did something that completely took me by surprise

Days are like a stagnant pool of water; every day when I close my eyes, I hope that when I open them again, there will be some change, whether good or bad, as long as it can touch me and make me truly feel alive. Yet, each day is merely a replica of the one before.

While brushing my teeth, I stared at my pale face in the mirror, lost in thought for quite a while. The baby fat that I used to despise has seemingly vanished without me noticing, and now, Cheng Luoxun appears to have truly developed a face that is calm and composed.

I stood beside her, and in that moment, I was so sad that I could not speak

I originally wanted to say, "You are really too lazy," but Kang Jie pulled my hand, signaling me not to say more.

During that period, Kang Jie almost cleared all her spare time to accompany me. When night fell, she would take out her cosmetics and meticulously apply her makeup. I lay in bed quietly gazing at her in the mirror as she gradually transformed her originally clean face into one that was enchanting and alluring. I couldn't help but say, "Actually, you look better without makeup."

Among acquaintances, there are not so many formalities and pleasantries. After a brief discussion, we decided to buy some fruit and a bouquet of flowers before heading to the hospital to visit Sister Suran

No matter how many years pass, I will never be able to speak of you calmly; no matter how many years pass, I will never be able to recall those brief yet passionate days we spent together with a tranquil heart

A few of us, each holding our own opinions, nearly drove the florist's assistant to madness. Finally, under Song Yuan's dictatorship, the heated debate came to an end, and we purchased a bouquet of orchids. While the florist's assistant was wrapping the flowers, I saw Li Shanshan laughing at the job advertisement posted at the entrance of the flower shop

I can hardly remember her appearance, only that night when I quietly gazed at the throngs of strangers on the brilliantly lit street, laughing unabashedly.

That was the night before Su Jin went abroad; she insisted on seeing me one last time, and after that, we never contacted each other again. She was like a torrential downpour, arriving suddenly and disappearing just as swiftly

She tidied up the trivial things and smiled: "Which celebrity said it again, life is the best university, and I am the best student in this university"

However, now she always speaks with her head tilted, even when talking to me and Kang Jie. She refuses to take off her sunglasses no matter what. Although her words still seem as sharp as before, it is evident from the way she tightly grips Song Yuan's hand while walking that she appears to be constantly afraid of something, as if she is trying to minimize her presence and avoid drawing others' attention.

Many of us believe that we have forgotten the past, yet the past has not forgotten us

Yes, I manage it very well, never bringing him up. Sometimes I might mention Lin Yizhou, but I never mention him.

That night, I was in agony as if I had lost my mind; no one could stop me, I was determined to see him once more

Pretend that no one actually went to eat the children's meal for several consecutive days just because I said I wanted the little toy that comes with the KFC children's meal, until they collected the entire set, which I later carelessly tossed into the storage box, and I don't even remember the name of that little trinket.

Xu Zhijun, you fool

Thinking of that fierce woman Li Shanshan, who is ten times more formidable than Kang Jie, I unexpectedly shivered in the warm and gentle sunlight

I looked at her, still unwilling to take off her sunglasses, and the vague doubts I had before were now clearly answered. Her voice sounded very unsteady, without a hint of emotional fluctuation: "You see, Luoxun, I don't even have the qualifications to go to a flower shop and be a little sister..."

Changsha in 2010 appeared somewhat unfamiliar. When I returned here after a long journey, the entire city was riddled with potholes due to the subway construction, and the already narrow roads were often congested to the point of being impassable. I had arranged to meet Kang Jie at Wuyi Road to go to DQ together, but when I got out of the taxi, I was astonished to find that the overpass at Wuyi Square was gone, replaced by a fenced-off wasteland.

Pretending that no one is around when I am sulking over trivial matters, take me to a buffet, and the frugal me insists on pushing myself to drink one more sip of water until I feel like I might explode before finally stopping

Until that late night, Kang Jie finished her shift at the bar and did not return to her mother's house but came to my home

It has indeed been a long time since we last met. Li Shanshan, who used to love dyeing her hair in various colors, now surprisingly has long black hair cascading over her shoulders, and she has even cut the blunt bangs that she once despised the most. Coupled with a large pair of sunglasses, her already small face, which is only the size of a palm, is now almost completely obscured.

I felt as if a very thin and sharp needle had pierced the nerve in my body that is most sensitive to pain, and I stood up abruptly, barely managing to maintain my composure with all my strength. As I walked past her, she softly said, "Cheng Luoxun, you will never understand how jealous I am of you."

Just as I was moved to tears by the embrace of this friendship, she said heavily in my ear: "You bastard, you finally came out to see people!"

The sharp, spirited, and powerfully lethal confidence that once resided in her has vanished

As soon as the words fell, a pillow struck my face heavily, accompanied by Kang Jie’s sharp reprimand: "Those who sell breakfast have been up since the time I get off work every day. If they lived like you, they would have starved to death on the streets long ago. Hurry up and get up, stop talking nonsense, we still need to buy some gifts. Are you really going to go empty-handed? Aren't you ashamed?"

The heartfelt intentions of Sister Suran will only be understood by us after several days have passed

I lifted my eyes and saw Su Ran, who was sitting on the bed and smiling at me. She had gained a bit of weight, her face was much rounder than before, but she was still very beautiful, and her gaze remained so gentle

Recalling the scene from that night, Kang Jie seemed to remember it even more clearly than I did. She raised her eyebrows and said, "At that time, seeing you sitting dazed on the steps by the roadside, I truly felt that no one could save you."

When she softly called out my name, my eyes became slightly moist

The first to speak when the four of us met was Kang Jie, who cupped her face and screamed three times: "What the hell! You all must have planned this! Why are you wearing sunglasses and pretending to be celebrities for no reason? Am I the only one not wearing them? Am I your bodyguard or something?"

In the past, she was always the most eye-catching girl in the crowd, and anyone who walked past her would inevitably pause for a moment. Even if their steps did not stop, their gaze would certainly linger for a brief instant. There is no other reason for this; do not mention qualities like temperament or aura, which are intangible. The only reason is that she was truly beautiful.

I have seen him smile before. He smiled when walking down the street with the Samoyed he raised, which is named "Samoyed." He smiled when I whimsically bought him several packs of children's moisturizing cream, which he deliberately referred to as "little bowl bear." And then there was that time after Kang Jie had an abortion, when he stood foolishly in front of her refrigerator organizing those expired frozen foods, and suddenly turned to me and said: "Hey, you know what? I'm particularly happy today because when you had something going on, you didn't look for Lin Yizhou but came to me instead..." At that moment, he was standing there in front of her refrigerator, organizing those expired frozen foods, and he suddenly turned to me and said: "Hey, you know what? I'm particularly happy today because when you had something going on, you didn't look for Lin Yizhou but came to me instead..." At that time, his face clearly showed a childlike smile.

When Kang Jie and I sat down at DQ, I still felt a pang of emotion. I originally wanted to express some thoughts, but in the end, I said nothing.

The moment I first saw her, I felt that she was somewhat different from before. I initially thought it was because we hadn't seen each other for a long time, or perhaps it was due to her new hairstyle and the dark-colored clothes she rarely wore in the past. However, when she casually mentioned the job advertisement from the flower shop as if it were a joke, I clearly discerned the sorrowful undertone behind her words.

I even pretended that I did not remember the scene of him recklessly jumping down to save me on the evening I was determined to give up my life

I would rather be the one who dies

It turns out that everything they said is true, whether you are willing or not, you will indeed gradually become someone else, whether you believe it or not, this is indeed true

It may not have been long ago, but perhaps our group has lived through so much turmoil that three to five days feel like ten years or more. Even though not much time has passed, in my heart, it already feels like a great transformation has taken place.

I curiously asked: "What are you laughing at?"

When I think like that, it feels as if a pair of hands is forcefully tearing open my chest, leaving me in unbearable pain

I hardly remember that I still have some good friends, whose lives have not come to a standstill due to my sorrow. I have almost forgotten to care for Shanshan, who has been disfigured, Song Yuan, who has grown up overnight like an adult, and Sister Suran, who is carrying a child that can only be referred to as a "love child".

However, that kind of fear was indeed triggered by images that leapt out from some deep corner of my memory. I followed them in a daze, moving my feet into the hospital, into the elevator. The increasingly strong smell of disinfectant, the long and short white coats that swept past my eyes, the chaotic sounds of footsteps—these scattered elements converged to weave a huge net that bound me tightly, no matter how unwilling I was, as if I had returned to that night.

Pretend that no one has ever taken me to buy tiramisu when we were not yet familiar, simply because I was unhappy

He seems to come every day. After looking at my expression, Kang Jie cautiously added, "How about... meeting him?"

I groggily shook off her hand: "I promised you I would go, but is it really necessary to get up this early? The breakfast vendors aren't even up this early."

Why is it that when I close my eyes, I can still vividly see a certain evening in that summer, when he stood under the streetlight at the entrance of my alley, his eyelashes fluttering like butterfly wings, gently yet firmly saying: "I love you, and this not only means that I want to be with you, but when I say I love you, it represents my promise to never hurt you."

I have always been the kind of person who finds it very difficult to fall back asleep once awakened, let alone now that I have been struck with a pillow by this shrew. In an instant, the little remaining drowsiness vanished completely.